Always
by WatchMeSoar
Summary: In the heat of the moment, Fear says something he never meant to share. Inspired by the awesome interview.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: Okay, so many of you are probably aware of that little gem, the Interview in which they disclosed Fear having feelings for a certain green someone. Go find it, its great.** **And hey, I hate to be** ** _that_** **person, but, well…no I don't. I am that person.**

 **I had to write it, and yes, I'm working on** ** _Maturation_** **, but this was bugging be in the best of ways, people. I tried to find a place in the movie in which to fit this missing scene, but the people in charge couldn't do it, and it turns out that I couldn't either. So I made it into it's own thing. Cuz it totally has to happen.**

 **On with the fluff!**

Fear was on the very cusp of hyperventilation. He was curled into a quivering ball on his bedroom floor, whimpering into his hands. His eyes were wide with his namesake, and he deeply, _desperately_ wished for a paper bag right about now.

None of these things would be particularly worrisome, as they were something like commonplace with the purple emotion. Except, this time was different.

Being scared had never _hurt_ so bad.

His eyes were becoming increasingly glassy as he stared at nothing, his being consumed with thoughts of what had transpired moments ago. With what he'd said, _who he'd said it to_ , he didn't think he'd be able to focus on anything else, ever again.

III

 _"_ _Why can't you just give it a rest, already!?"_

 _"_ _It would't have to be this way if you weren't so insensitive!"_

 _Fear and Disgust fought often; enough that, while Joy would try for a moment to stop them, on principle, the rest of the emotions had learned to just butt out and let it run its course—even Anger. Spats between the two were the type to be loud enough to drown out anyone else's presence, let alone their voice. So it was, Joy, Sadness, and Anger stood back and watched as Fear and Disgust, near the console, shouted and raved._

 _It was a bit worrying, however, because while most fights were about decisions made at the console on one of their parts (as the current one had begun), this one had turned decidedly more…personal._

 _"_ _Insensitive?I'm trying to make sure Riley makes the right kind of friends! One's that are sure to make her popular! I want what's best for our girl; HOW is that insensitive!?"_

 _"_ _Because you're setting her up for a betrayal, or embarrassment, or at the very least a shallow friendship—"_

 _"_ _I'm the one setting her up for embarrassment?What about you? You're the one who just made a laughing stock of us!"_

 _Fear sputtered for a moment, but quickly recovered. Sort of. "At least I care about her well-being, and am trying to keep her out of danger, even from potential_ friends, _" he spit the word like poison, "What about you? You're so shallow, you're willing to risk happiness for approval? What kind of person does that?"_

 _Disgust's eyes were wide and surprised. Everyone's were. Fear had never attacked her character so openly. She thought quick. "You're one to talk! When have you ever made a decision with one of us in mind? When have you ever asked me if I though something was a good idea, huh?"_

 _"_ _Oh, there you go, making it about you—"_

 _"_ _When have you ever asked me how I was feeling, or if I slept okay? Pfft, 'insensitive.' You don't care about anyone but your sorry, sniveling self!"_

 _Disgust was near hysterical. She pointed a shaking finger accusingly at Fear, and while her eyes were harsh, they shook with an emotion that she wasn't personally familiar with. She was steadily advancing on Fear, even as he tried to mentally catch up with her sudden topic change._

 _"_ _Disgust, I-I don't know wh—"_

 _"_ _You parade around Headquarters, like you some big-shot defender of the people or whatever, but really, you're just a selfish, sorry excuse of an emotion! You call yourself our friend but you don't mean it! As long as you do your stinking job, everything's fine and dandy, right!? You don't care about any of us! You never have! You don't care about me—"_

 _"_ _Disgust, I've_ ** _always_** _loved you!"_

 _And like that, a spell was cast. Not a breath was taken by any of the five, and nobody moved. Fear couldn't see or didn't care to notice the other three, but the look on_ her _face…_

 _Disgust's eyes had gone completely wide, her heavy eyelashes fluttering. Her scowl was gone, and the fight lead from her stance. She looked utterly shocked, and…_

 _And as she took one, then two, tentative steps_ backwards, away from him _, the spell was broken, and Fear couldn't stand to watch another, more horrible look wash over her face._

 _With a sharp inhale and a quick retreat, Fear was up the ramp and in his room, on the floor. Away from them. From_ her _._

III

Fear buried his face in his curled knees, his tears finally finding their way down his face. There was no way, he tried to convince himself, _no way_ that that had actually happened. It must have been in his head, he hadn't slept well the night before, it was a horrible, terrible daydream…

He could't do this.

How could he even go about his life now? He saw her _every day_ , and it was hard enough knowing that he would have to settle with admiring her privately, from afar. Now he had to deal with knowing that _she knew it_.

Would she just ignore him? As messed up as it was, Fear found that his what what he hoped would happen. It would be best if she would just refuse to acknowledge this, shun him even more than she did before, because the alternative was…

Fear shuddered. The alternative was _unthinkable_.

If possible he curled in on himself even further, his sporadic shivers becoming rhythmic jerks as he began to cry quietly in earnest.

He loved her. He did. And rejection already hurt _so much_. What was he going to do when he was actually faced with it?

 **A/n: Yeah, so, probably not the funny little exchange they had in mind for the ad-lib, but hey, you all know how much I love to make things more dramatic than necessary and that I like to make my favorites feel bad. It's what I do. Maybe one day I'll make a lighthearted interpretation of Fear's confession, where things are a bit more…canon, but IT IS NOT THIS DAY! Anyway, yes, yeah, I'll go finish the next chapter of** ** _Maturation_** **now…**

 **I own nothing.**


	2. Chapter 2

With Fear gone, the others were left suspended for a time in stunned stillness. Disgust was staring blankly at the place he was standing a moment ago, trying her hardest to come up with something, _anything_ , to rationalize how she felt right then.

The others were watching her with rapt attention, though they weren't sure what they were waiting for. But they all understood that it was very, _very_ important to see her reaction to what Fear had just thrown at her. Fear wasn't exactly a stoic person, and to the three of them, this…well, it wasn't his best kept secret. But he was _always_ careful to avoid letting her know. He was terrified of what she would say. Disgust was significantly harder to read.

Now, with the best of hopes for their jittery friend, they waited for some inkling of her reaction.

But…she had no reaction. No scowl, no furrowed brow; no tears, no smile, no laughter— real or mocking. Nothing.

Anger was the first to dare to move. He walked closer to where Joy and Sadness stood, walking between them and placing a hand on each of their arms to alert them to his presence. Joy jerked, and Sadness merely tilted her head towards him, but he took it as a sign to talk. He spoke lowly, "We need to do something. If we leave this to those two nincompoops this will fester something crazy."

The two girls nodded. Sadness spoke up. "I can go talk to Fear. I think, um…I think he might need me."

Joy and Anger silently agreed, though it saddened both of them to think of it. Fear was a sensitive guy by nature. He was probably making a list right about now of the easiest ways to disappear.

Joy finally spoke up then, "I'll talk to Disgust. Maybe I can convince her this is a good thing."

"No, kid," Anger was kind, but firm. "She needs straightforwardness, not blind optimism. As…risky as it might be for Fear, we need her honest answer. I'll talk to her. You man the console; Riley's almost to Samantha's house, you need to make sure she has fun."

Joy looked slightly crestfallen, but perked up quickly and nodded in understanding. Sharing one last glance, the three split, Sadness slowly moving towards the ramp, and Joy and Anger making their way to the console. Anger reached out a hand to Disgust and took her forearm, guiding her away from the panel and towards the kitchen. "Come on. You and I are gonna have a little chat."

Disgust walked blindly, but willingly, and Joy gave Anger one last nod before turning her attention to the view screen.

III

Finally in the kitchen, Anger lead Disgust to the little table in the breakfast nook and waited for her to sit down. He sat across from her, and said nothing for a while, simply observing her. She was clearly more coherent than she had been moments ago, and while he still couldn't tell what exactly she was feeling, it was clear she was concerned by…something. Her hands were clasped in her lap and her eyes would not leave them. Her brow was furrowed, but in contemplation more than anything else. She looked perplexed. And maybe a little bit sad.

Anger took this opening. "What's eatin' ya, kid?"

He received no answer other than a small shake of her head, so he persisted. "I know you can hear me, and I know what's troubling you. Can you tell me what exactly you're thinking about?" Still nothing.

Anger sat back and sighed. It was hard for him to keep his temper in check at times like these; if he asked a question, he darn sure wanted an answer. However, he knew that for Disgust of all emotions to be speechless, something truly important must be sorting itself out inside her head. He had to be patient, for her sake, and for Fear's. He deserved an answer. As much as Anger would hate to admit it to anyone, he considered Fear and him to be very close, regardless of how much they grated on each other's nerves. And he had always had something of a soft spot for Disgust; they were so alike it was sometimes what he imagined a little sister to be like. He wanted so much for them both to be okay through this. But to ensure that at all, he'd need to get Disgust to open up, and he wasn't going to do that by yelling at her.

Deciding on a more direct approach, he tried again. "Look, I know you have an opinion on what just happened. You're an opinionated girl, you know what you like and what you don't," He paused here, trying to catch her eye. "Fear just told you he loves you. What do you have to say?"

It was then when she finally spoke. In almost a whisper, she said, "I don't know."

Anger had a bit of trouble believing her, and as he was about to tell her so, she finally looked up and met his eyes, and his doubts fled. She looked _scared_. And like she had no idea what to think.

Thinking of nothing to say, Anger decided then that perhaps silence would draw an explanation out of her. He sat as patiently as he could while Disgust's jaw moved time and time again to form words that were lost before she said them. Disgust let out an aggravated sigh, and took a break from trying before finally coming out with actual words. "I knew. I always knew how he felt."

Anger supposed he should be surprised by this, but he was not. Disgust was a smart girl.

"I just never…never thought he'd come out and say it." She gave a humorless laugh, "I don't suppose he though he would, either."

She shifted in her seat, and Anger could tell she was revving up to explain herself out loud. It was how she processed things, and he would let her. "When—if I ever imagined him saying it, I always thought I would feel more..I don't know, annoyed? It's not like it was a surprise to begin with." She looked away from him then, out the window to Long Term, not really seeing. "But, when he said it just now, that's not how I felt at all. I felt…warm."

Silence settled for a short time, and Anger could tell that she had finished her processing. Though he'd been given promising information, he had yet to receive a straight answer, so he finally spoke again.

"Fear loves you."

"I _know_."

"Do you love him?"

Disgust looked back at Anger, and even before she said anything, he knew the answer.

Disgust shook her head, slowly and calmly, and even as a few tears gathered in her pretty eyes she whispered one word.

"No."

Deep down Anger knew this was always going to be where they ended up. Even if Disgust held a place in her heart for Fear, even if she liked him more than she did the rest of them—and she did, he knew her, he could see it—the fact of the matter was that Disgust wasn't read for love. As perhaps one of the foremost driving forces that would one day be employed when Riley was choosing a boyfriend and husband, Disgust was more in tune with Riley's ability and capacity to love more than the rest of them. Simply put, if Riley wasn't ready, Disgust wasn't ready, on principle and on the sheer grace of being who she was. And Riley was 13.

He looked into her eyes for a moment, and he could tell she was thinking the same thing.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked after a time.

She sighed heavily. "I don't know. I need to talk to him," she looked to Anger for confirmation, then continued, "But what do I _say_? 'Sorry, but I don't feel the same way'?"

"Is that the truth?"

"Not-not the _whole_ truth." She put her elbows on the table and her face in her hands. After a moment she put her hands down and looked very seriously at Anger.

"No, I don't love him," she began strong, but her voice began to waver, and although he did't think she'd let herself cry, he knew she was close to it. "But I want to."

Her hands went back up to cover her face, and Anger silently felt some relief for his friend wash over him.

"He's sweet, and caring, no matter _what_ I said to him. He's dedicated, and I like spending time with him when were not working, and I care so much for him and it's not fair that I can't love him back!"

She had lost the battle with her emotions, and as she cried softly into her hands anger moved his own to grab hers. She locked eyes with him, his gaze very serious but also understanding.

"Disgust, you don't love him now because you can't. When the time comes, _will_ you love him?"

Disgust searched his eyes for a second before nodding. "Yes. I'm almost certain, yes. I know I can't fairly say that one hundred percent, but…"

"But at the same time, you _can_." Anger cracked a tiny smile, and pulled Disgust's hands gently so that whey leaned in marginally closer, and he said, "Disgust, tell him _that_."

She looked surprised, but soon enough a small, tentative smile graced her lips, and she stood from the table. She nodded in gratitude to her friend, and turned and left the kitchen.

Anger took a deep breath of relief. Now all there was to do was wait. And hope.

 **A/n: I'M SO SORRY IT HAD TO BE DONE. I just...I can't-I don't know. Don't hate me.**


	3. Chapter 3

As Sadness made her way though the upstairs hallway, she found herself wondering how much help she could really be this time. As she passed door after door, she kept thinking of possibly outcomes to this situation. She didn't like how many could turn out sad.

Herself and Fear were similar. She had always felt a different sort of connection to him, even when she was being ignored. She felt that, in some twisted way, they were connected through negativity. They were the ones that needed the other, more positive or abrasive emotions to function, lest they fall into the void of depression and anxiety. Obsessing over the weight of life's problems. But while they relied on the company of the others (more than she knew how to admit, and more than he was probably willing to), the two of them shared the knowing glances, the worries whispers. When Joy, Disgust and Anger were quick to do away with a nagging thought or feeling of Riley's, Fear and Sadness would often discuss it in private. Because they knew, the other would _understand._

She only could hope, this time, that would hold true.

When she arrived at Fear's door, she could hear soft sniffles coming from the other side, and knew she had made the right decision in coming.

She knocked. "Fear?"

She received no response, but the crying had stopped. She tried again, "Fear, can I come in?"

Never one to push, and knowing it wouldn't help anyway, she simply waited. Before long, she heard a _click_ , and the door cracked open.

"S-sadness?" He was trying so hard, but was still so obviously shaken up, "Um, you c-can tell Joy that I'll, um, I'll be right down."

"Do you wanna talk?"

He met her eyes then, and couldn't find it within himself to turn her away. He could admit to himself when he needed help. He sighed, and opened the door to let her in.

Silently, the two made their way over to his bed, each sitting down on the floor land leaning back against it. Sadness took a moment to look at Fear, before saying anything, and could tell that he was scared. But _this_ …this was a different scared than she had ever seen him be. He was trembling, as he often did, but he wasn't fidgety. When Fear was exceptionally nervous, he wrung his hands, or bit his lip. His eyes would grow wide and flighty, and he would pace, or rock, or tap his foot. _Something_.

But now, he did nothing. His knees were brought up to his chest and his arms encompassed them; his eyes stared at a fixed point on the carpet and he was _still_. This wasn't just nervousness. This was _dread_.

She realized that the way this day turned out would define not only Fear and Disgust, but likely all of them. She hoped she was ready.

"Fear, are you…are you going to be okay?"

The question was innocent enough, Fear supposed, but _boy,_ what was the answer?

With his voice still quivering, he returned, "I—ah…I don't know. H-how am I supposed to—what do I _do?_ "

"I wish I had an answer."

He deflated marginally at this, but they both knew that at this point, there _was_ no answer.

She waited a moment, and then said, "You can talk to me, Fear, if you want. I'll listen."

"Why?" She was unsurprised by the shallow venom in his words; it often appeared when he was upset, and very rarely was it directed _outward_. "Why do you want to listen to me ramble, blubber on about some s-stupid thing I just did…" He trailed off, losing control of the tremor in his voice.

This, she could answer. "Because you're sad. And I think you need to let somebody know why."

"You _know_ why."

"Not really. Not like you do."

She was right, of course, but that didn't make it easier to start talking. She would be patient, though. Once he began she knew he would tell her everything he needed to.

He struggled with himself for a while, trying to right his breathing before he spoke again. Finally, after however long a time, he did. "I guess, uh…I guess it wasn't really that big of a secret anyway, huh?" He looked to see Sadness gently shake her head, and scoffed at himself, "Yeah, that's what I thought. Anger always teased me about it when we were alone." His attempt at humor made the situation that much sadder. When his false smile melted, he went on.

"She…She probably knew, too, do you think?" Sadness gave a shrug, but he didn't catch it, too caught up was he in his impending panic to take notice. "She's smart enough. And I'm not exactly mysterious." He wiped a weary hand over his face. "She's probably known for _years_."

"Has it been years?"

Fear seemed to have forgotten she was there, and jumped a little at her soft voice. "I—y-yes, years."

"You said 'always.'"

He shrank into himself before confirming her observation, "Y-yeah. Always."

"That's a long time to keep a secret. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because…" He cut off, and signed. The tension, good and bad, bled from his body and he practically deflated in front of her. "Because I was too scared. I was scared of her f-finding out, of anger making fun of us, of Joy putting us into situations she would think were funny but would really be totally, completely mortifying…"

He stilled his rant, and she thought she could see him turn inward. "I was scared of what she might say. I didn't know if she would laugh in my face, or yell at me for having the nerve to feel that way about her. I w-was scared that she would be…cruel to me. I deserve it."

He wasn't shaking anymore. He was barely breathing, with how quiet his voice was. At this moment, he had given up, surrendered to facing each and every one of his horrible fantasies once Disgust gained back her ability of speech. Sadness' heart went out to him, and she scooted over a foot or two to where he sat, and put her arms around him as best as she could. He leaned into her, and she couldn't see his face, but she felt him begin to cry again.

"Fear, you _don't deserve cruelty_ ," she said with as much conviction as she could muster, and she felt him shiver against her. "What you feel right now is okay, and if you're sad about this, or whatever happens next, you can _always_ come to me. I don't know what Disgust will say; I wish I had a good answer, but I can't lie to you. I don't know, and I'm sorry." She paused, taking a moment for both of them to cry in silence a little. But she knew she had to continue. "This might end well." Fear scoffed into her hair, and his arms stiffened around her.

"Yeah, right."

"I mean it. I'm not as good as Joy is at this optimism thing, but, well, Disgust _could_ be nice about it."

"I'm nothing to her."

Sadness' heart was breaking. She pulled back from him enough to catch his eye. "You are not _nothing_ to her. She cares. I can't tell you how much, but you're her friend, at least."

They were both silent, Fear taking in her words and Sadness letting him.

Then after a moment she spoke again, "I can't speak for her. I-I won't. But she deserves a minute to say what she needs to say, whatever it is, and if you need me at the end if it, I'll be _right there_. O-okay?"

Fear said nothing, but took in a steadying sigh and nodded.

Then, as if by some cosmic design, the two heard a knock on the door. Fear at once began trembling again.

It creaked open just enough for Disgust to lean tentatively through. "Fear? Uh…may I come in?"

 **A/n: If any of you still haven't seen the interview, I refer you to an earlier comment made by the very helpful winxclubfan1:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: Sorry this one took a bit longer, guys. It was hard. But, here it is:) Fluff alert, people. Fluf** **f. Alert.**

"Fear? Uh…may I come in?"

Fear could say nothing for a precious few seconds, but soon enough slowly rose, hoping his knees would support him.

"U-uh…er, y-yes, yes. C-come on in."

Sadness herself stood then, looking between the two and deciding that there was nothing left for her to do now. She silently passed Disgust, gave her friends one last look over her shoulder, and made her way back down the hallway, hoping for the best.

Now it was just the two of them. For the first few silent moments, it was almost painful, standing there in each other's presence. Disgust couldn't bring her gaze any higher than the carpet in front of her, and Fear was too scared to look anywhere _but_ at the emotion in front of him.

Disgust, despite being the one who had gone looking for _him_ , found herself with nothing to say. It was as if all the confidence and surety she had gained while talking to Anger evaporated in an instant and she could no longer gather her thoughts well enough to share them. Her small hands were clasped in front of her, suddenly shaking, and she distantly marveled at the possibility of _her_ being the most nervous person in the room.

Fear, for his part, saw her struggle, and despite what she probably had to say he found it within himself to be the one to reach out, if just a little.

"D-do you…want to sit down?" he asked quietly, motioning vaguely to the side of his bed. She nodded, still looking down, and quickly moved and took a seat on the side of the mattress; Fear sat down next to her, being sure to give her space. She sat stiffly, knees together and hands folded in her lap. He was slooped over, and his arms moved by their own accord to wrap around his torso.

He easily noted her position, and the little hope that was within him withered even more. She was uncomfortable. And it was _his fault_. Him and his big mouth. He closed his eyes and took a silent deep breath before speaking again.

"I-I'm sorry."

She barely heard his voice, but she caught his words and was startled enough to look up at him. He didn't notice.

"I should n-never have…burdened you with all that," he continued, "Y-you were…you were never supposed to know."

They lapsed into silence again, and Disgust gathered her courage and took the only opening she could.

"Well…that, um, wasn't exactly the problem."

Fear, after a moment, snorted humorlessly. "Figures," he said, "I thought you m-might've figured it out."

Disgust bit her lip. She knew it wasn't what he meant to happen, but that statement made her feel _guilty_ somehow, like she was responsible for more of his heartache than she had been a moment ago. "Fear—"

"Do you think…" He spoke quickly, as if trying to get his words into the open before he lost his nerve, "Do you think it would be p-possible for us to just…j-just forget it all?" Disgust was too surprised to respond, and he went on. "We…we've spent our entire lives as f-friends…" He glanced up at her for a spit second, and her stomach lurched at how like a question that statement sounded, "and…and I'm fine with that. More than fine. I l-love working with you, and talking with you on our off time. I even lo—like the banter between you, me and Anger," he gave what was meant to be a laugh, but it was more of a sob than anything else.

His next words were nothing more than a trembling whisper; it was all he could muster. "Please. _Please_ , don't let me ruin this. I-I understand that you must be…upset, and you have every reason to be. T-take it out on me now. Yell at me, hit me, whatever you want, but _please_ …please tell me things will be okay tomorrow."

Disgust would've responded right away had she not been so shocked. Fear was looking at his shoes, oblivious to the look of slowly dawning sorrow on her face. He looked so…so _hopeless_. And with everything he said…

"…Did you think I would be _angry_?"

Fear risked looking at her, and she saw the surprise that swam in his eyes. "You…you're n-not?"

" _No_ , stupid, I'm _not_ ," she moved closer to him, suddenly overcome with the urge to settle his nerves as best as possible. She pried the hand closest to her away from his torso and held it between both of her own, making sure to make eye contact and offering the tiniest grin when she repeated herself, " _I'm not mad_."

He searched her, for a moment, and she saw his shoulders slowly relaxing as he began to believe her. He broke the eye contact and looked down at their hands, his quaking and hers small and comforting. His brows furrowed, and he mustered all the courage he could to ask her the question that was twisting his heart, "Do y-you…does that m-mean you, u-uh…"

And suddenly she felt guilty again. Any semblance of a smile was wiped from her face in an instant, and her eyes grew regretful. She hadn't meant to…to _lead him on_ like that…

He chanced a glance back at her face, and quickly tried to backtrack. Turns out she was easier to read than he thought.

" _Ack_ …no, no, s-sorry, I…I didn't—I w-wasn't thinking," he withdrew his hand from hers quickly, as if burned, and shrunk into himself once more, "O-of course not. That w-was s-stupid. I…s-sorry…"

She shook her head rapidly, and her hands—still suspended in midair from following his as he pulled away—came to rest on his shoulder and upper arm. "No, no, Fear, it's _alright_ ," she soothed, hoping to reassure him once more. Then again…

She had to get this out of the way. This had to be cleared up, _now_.

"…Listen, I…" she let out a great puff of air, resenting what she was about to say, "…Fear, I don't love you. I'm so sorry."

He quickly looked down and began rapidly blinking, but to Disgust's surprise he gave a crooked grin, too. It was…sad. Self-Deprecating. She didn't like it.

"Th-that's okay. I mean…I d-didn't really…expect you to, so…"

"Nono, Fear, _listen_ to me," one of her hands went to his opposite cheek and gently prodded him to look at her. "I _do_ _care_ about you. You're _wonderful_ , Fear, and don't think for a _second_ that you deserve anything less than someone loving you back," both of her hands went back to their place around his, and her firm voice softened, "You are so, _so_ sweet to feel the way you do about me." His face burned and he tried to look down. One of her hands came back up to cup his cheek and keep him still.

"But…please understand, I'm not ready. I-it might sound…I don't know, _selfish_ to say that, but I really just—"

"N…no. No, it's not…it's not selfish."

Disgust was somewhat taken aback hearing is voice. He sounded breathless.

After a moment, Fear went on, "I think I-I get it," he said, "I…if you're not ready, then you're not ready. I, uh…I can live with that. It's better than you j-just… _not liking_ me, r-right?"

The two lapsed back into silence—a more peaceful one than it had been minutes ago. Disgust regarded Fear, noting how, even as he looked anywhere but at her and the hand in hers still shook (mere shivers now, nothing like the violent tremors before), he looked…almost _happy_. It struck her then just how _innocent_ this emotion's feelings were. He…he really cared deeply for her, enough to disregard how he felt in favor of her comfort; he was preparing himself for _who-knows-what_ at her hand, so that _she_ would feel herself justified, and was more comforted by the mere thought of _remaining friends_ than she thought he'd be.

It warmed her from the inside out in a way that she had never felt before. No, it wasn't quite _love_ , but right now, it was almost as sweet. It was _certainty_.

"…Fear?"

The emotion in question looked up, wary of what she had to say until he saw the sweet look on her face. He was calmed almost instantly.

"Y-yes?"

"I…I will be ready. Someday."

It took him a moment, but when he understood the implications, he felt an electric current run from his heart all the way through to his fingers and toes. A small part of him was desperate to _stay calm, that's probably not what she meant, you're setting yourself up to crash and burn…_

But a bigger part knew he was right. He could see it in her smile.

" _Wait_ , do you mean…Do you think that, s-someday you m-might…"

He had never felt more elated than when he saw her nod. "Yeah," she said, "someday."

"B-because _you_ want to, right? N-not just because I—"

"Because we _both_ want to."

His smile could've put Joy to shame at that moment, and Disgust had to giggle a little at the goofy smile. _Dork,_ she thought, and her own smile grew.

"So, ah…" Fear brought them both back to the present after a few precious moments, even though the future right then seemed so enticing, "What do we do _now_?"

Disgust thought for a moment. What _were_ they going to do?

"I…well, we won't pretend it didn't happen…"

"U-huh."

"But I think we've established that a…a _relationship_ is out of the question right now…"

"O-of course."

"Because it wouldn't be fair, to either of us, at this point."

They were both quiet for a time. Then, Fear suggested quietly, "…Do we just go on being…"

 _Friends?_

But they were more than that, love or no. And they both knew it.

Disgust gave a small shrug. "I guess we just…keep doing what we're doing. For now." Fear couldn't fully surprise the tiny, bashful smirk that appeared on his lips at those words. Disgust thought for a moment, and then leaned in and gave him a quick peck on his purple cheek. His eyes went impossibly wide, and his face turned adorably red, and she quickly pulled him in to a soft hug. He slowly brought his arms up around her, marveling at the moment, at the _entire day,_ and whispered into her hair, "Thank you."

III

It was a short time later that the two made their way back downstairs. They could've kept to themselves all day, maybe, but Fear eventually realized that Riley was still awake, and therefore they both technically had a job to do. Granted, she was watching cartoons at a friend's house, but still…

Sadness was the first to notice them, and regarded them both with a quiet, critical eye. Neither of them were sad…

Joy was less subtle. "There you two are!" She through out her arms and rushed towards the pair, stopping just before she plowed into them both. "We were wondering if something had happened!"

"Give 'em a break, Joy," came Anger's gruff voice from the couch, "They had things to discuss. It's their business."

"Oh, come on, don't try to tell me you were't wondering about it all this time, too, Grumpy Gus." Anger didn't respond.

Sadness had made her way towards Disgust and Fear, hope shining in her brighter than it had in a while. "Are you two…okay?"

With the soft question, the remaining emotions hushed and the only sound came from the far away noise of droning cartoons. Disgust and Fear exchanged a look, and the both of them smiled softly.

"Yeah. We're okay."

 **A/n: I really appreciate how wonderful and supportive you all have been:)** **Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**You didn't think I'd leave you like that, did you? One more chapter for this one, everybody:)**

Epilogue:

Things in Headquarters ran as they always had. Joy, Anger, and Sadness were wary at first, stepping on eggshells around the two, but quickly realized that they hadn't been lying. They really were okay. Fear never prodded her, and Disgust never used how he felt against him. They continued to chat, and bicker, and throw sarcasm at each other every now and then. Occasionally their exchanges could be interpreted as flirtatious, if one would squint (and Joy squinted. She squinted _hard_.)

In the end though, it fell from their minds. Days turned to weeks, which turned to months, then years…

It all became a distant memory.

III

Riley was twenty four when she spent her first Christmas alone. She curled up on the couch of the home she shared with Meg (she had moved back to Minnesota for school, and they shared a small house—neither of them had ever really gotten around to moving out) and turned on the television, hoping ABC Family had something decent on.

It was no one's fault that she was by herself; her parents couldn't leave San Fransisco because her dad had a major meeting on the twenty sixth, Meg was in New York, and her boyfriend David was still out of the country.

She sighed. It could be worse, she supposed. She'd see her parents _and_ David come New Years Day, and Meg was just gone for two weeks; she'd be back soon enough. Still, there was nothing quite like listening to Christmas music by yourself to dampen your spirits.

III

"Guys, this is terrible!"

Inside Headquarters, Riley's emotions had almost given up on the season. Sadness was languidly driving, Anger had had his turn earlier in the day, Fear was biting his fingertips, and Disgust was sitting on the couch pouting.

Joy was desperate. They had _never_ had a bad Christmas! But what could she—

Joy was suddenly distracted by an upbeat tune coming from the TV.

 _Hot! Hot!_

 _Oh, we got it!_

 _Hot! Hot!_

 _Hey, we got it!_

 _Hot! Hot!_

 _Say, we got it!_

 _Hot chocolate!_

…Well, it was as good a plan as any.

"HOT CHOCOLATE!"

Joy's excited voice startled everyone, and all eyes turned to her with varying degrees of confusion, annoyance, and incredulity.

"Come on, guys! You know we've been trying to perfect our recipe! Why not try it again?"

"Because we'll get it wrong again."

"Because she might burn herself."

"Because the last time we tried to make it from scratch it tasted like dirt."

"HOT. CHOCOLATE. Let's go!" And with a few button pushes, Riley was off the couch and heading to the kitchen.

III

Riley found the song to be rather persuasive.

She had always had a, uh… _soft spot_ for hot chocolate ( _not_ an incurable sweet tooth; she was a grown woman, darn it) and had, in recent months, decided to attempt to perfect her own recipe for the homemade stuff. She had yet to perfect it by any means, but still! She was trying.

On the way to the kitchen, she passed her little Christmas tree by the window; nothing fancy, but enough to brighten the room. She had looked at it countless times before, of course, but this time, something caught her eye. She spotted a flash of cherry red hidden in the branches, and upon further inspection found it to be a letter. Addressed to her, no less.

Curious, she tore it open. It was Christmas, after all, so she assumed she didn't have to wait any more. She recognized David's penmanship instantly.

 _Sorry to leave this in your house like a stalker. Don't worry, Meg let me in._

Riley giggled a bit at that. Of course he would worry about weirding her out, they'd only been dating for a _year and a half_.

 _I feel terrible that you have to spend the holiday alone, Riley. I hope to make it up to you when I get back. I've picked out the perfect present for you. I want to see your face when you see it though, so I hope you don't mind waiting a few more days._

 _Going to Italy is a dream come true, and I am so excited, but I can't help but think that maybe, it could've waited a bit longer. I promise, next year, you won't be left alone._

 _I'll be thinking of you every day that I'm gone. Man, that sounds corny, but it's true. I miss you already._

 _Merry Christmas, darling._

 _Yours,_

 _David_

Riley felt her face grow pleasantly hot, and suddenly her troubles melted away, leaving her feeling more contented than she had in days. This one single letter, more than any phone call or email she had received, left her feeling warm and happy inside. Cocoa forgotten, she returned to her place on the couch, letter in hand. She was half aware of the film, and absently rubbing her fingers on the corners of the paper, a giddy smile tugging the corners of her lips.

III

The emotions were giddy themselves. They were all very fond of David, and thought him to be a very good match for their girl. It was wonderful when they were given reason to believe the feelings were mutual.

"That was _so sweet_!" Joy was swooning, as usual, the hopeless romantic she was. "You picked well, Disgust, I've gotta say!"

"You say that all the time!" Anger, while he didn't disagree, never missed the opportunity to point this out.

Disgust, however, was more than happy to take the compliment. Again. "Yeah, I know. I can tell a good one a mile away," she said with a smile. Really, at this point, the line was more in good fun than anything.

The five emotions had re-settled themselves on their own couch, content with watching the movie now that their girl was happy. Eventually though, Sadness spoke up.

"…You know, I sort of want some hot chocolate now."

It was an unassuming statement, but it brought to light the fact that, yes, they had indeed all missed out on the tasty beverage.

Fear took a look around, "Alright, who's in the mood for cocoa?" Four hands raised expectantly, and Fear rose from his seat. "I'll go make it. Won't be too long."

"I'll go with you," Disgust offered. It wasn't abnormal for Fear to volunteer for this kind of thing, nor was it for him to balance precariously whatever it was he was carrying. The guy needed help. "I think you could use an extra set of hands."

Fear nodded his thanks, and the two headed for their own kitchen.

III

As Riley sat thinking, she found herself caring less and less about the TV and focusing more and more inward. She felt…odd. She couldn't place it, not quite, but David…the letter he left her was so _him_. And she was acting like a blushing school girl over it!

The more she thought about it, though—thought about _him_ …the more a new, exciting possibility entered grew in her heart. Was it possible that she…

III

Disgust walked over to the window in the kitchen, looking out over Long-Term. The mind workers always decorated for Christmas, much like Joy did in Headquarters, and while she was too far away to see any detail, she had always loved seeing the lights; it made the expanse of Riley's mind just that much more beautiful, adding those festive fairy lights to the glowing memories.

After a moment of admiring the view, she turned back to observe Fear. He was always so calm (well, calm _er_ ) this time of year. He was cheerful and optimistic. And, he made _amazing_ hot chocolate.

He'd tried to help Riley in this subject, but every time he did she just got scared of messing up again. He was _trying_ to teach Joy. Really, he was.

She watched him as me moved about the kitchen with an almost easy grace he only achieved when he forgot to worry that anyone was watching. He got sucked into processes like this, and she found it amusing, in a way—she herself was a multitasker, and could never quite dedicate her whole focus onto one task at a time. It wasn't fair, she decided. So it was time to distract him.

"What do you think he bought her?"

"Hmm?"

"David. What do you think he got for Riley?"

"Oh. Uh, I don't know…" Fear turned away from the stove for a moment. "Did we ask for anything?"

Disgust shook her head, only half invested in actually solving the mystery. "Nope. Which means it's a surprise. One he's proud of, so it must be good. Do you think he got us a kitten?"

"Why on Earth would he have bought her a kitten?" Fear asked, chuckling a bit.

"Uh, _duh_ , because they're the cutest things ever!" She tried to keep a straight face, she really did.

"Oh, forgive me for my incompetence." He was smiling in earnest now, trying in vain to hide it by turning back to the stove, and it made her beam with accomplishment.

They lapsed back into friendly silence for a few minutes, long enough for Fear to pour the sugary drink into five mugs. Deciding the other three could wait a moment longer, he took two and headed over to Disgust, offering one to her.

"Milady," he mock-bowed, and she giggled at his dorkiness. She did that a lot.

"Why thank you, sir."

"Careful, it's hot."

"You don't say."

He glared playfully for a second before bringing his own mug to his lips. Disgust was about to do the same, but suddenly, her entire being froze.

It wasn't overt; she doubted Fear even noticed she hesitated at all. But something suddenly just… _changed_ inside her. There was no sickness (thank _heavens_ ), no pain, no real change at all, but…

It was like floodgates had been opened. She was suddenly complete, even though she didn't know she had been anything less. She felt a warmth, a feeling of peace settle in her soul, deep and subtle enough to be ignore if she chose to. But that was absolutely the _last_ thing she ever wanted to do.

She looked up at Fear, slowly placed her mug on the small table at her back, and without preamble, put into words what she knew to finally be true.

"…Fear?"

"Mhm?"

"I love you."

Fear froze; his body stiffened, his breathing cut out, and it was by some true miracle that he managed to _not_ drop his mug at their feet. He could do nothing but stare at the emotion in front of him. Disgust, in contrast to her confidence a moment before, felt a creeping feeling of self-doubt chilling her heart. It…it had been a _long time_. It was entirely possible that he didn't…

"Do you…do you still love me?" Her voice was small, and her eyes meekly fluttered to the floor despite her best efforts to keep eye contact. His silence was unnerving; she was about to apologize, play it down.

But, before she could utter another word, Fear found it in himself to react. In one fluid movement, he stepped towards her, placed his cup next to hers, and drew her into him. Disgust found herself tightly wrapped in his arms; she felt his hands trembling marginally, but his hold was surprisingly, pleasantly solid. After the initial shock, she brought her arms up and around him, burying her nose in his sweater and closing her eyes.

She breathed deeply, and felt him do the same. Disgust felt tears spring to her eyes and a shaky smile form on her lips as Fear placed a tender kiss on her hair.

Eleven years. It had been eleven years since that fateful incident; longer still since love even began to form. But the wait had been _worth it_. Now, in this simple moment, the two emotions were finally, _finally_ , at true peace.

 **A/n: There's the end:) I hope you all liked this story, and I'd like to thank you all again for the wonderful reviews and all the favorites! _Maturation_ is coming along, if you're wondering; I have to be in a specific state of mind for that one...though I'm not really sure why. Anyway, thanks for reading!**

 **Song lyrics from _The Polar Express_.**


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